Time flies so fast… I know I’ve said this phrase so many times in my previous blog posts. But it’s the truth. I wish life has a pause button, or in my case, a fast forward button. Yes, I’ve become impatient.
For those who don’t know, I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 5 years now… and boy, I didn’t realize it would be this hard at the beginning.
At first, it’s really easy. I was comfortable with the distance between us. I was contented with exchanging messages all day, every day. I was contented knowing that even though he is from the other side of the world, he is mine and I am his. Corny, I know. But when you’re in love, that doesn’t matter.
We enjoyed each other’s company. We talk every single day. We shared everything about us, our secrets, our pasts, our plans for the future. And it was amazing!
But as time went by, you realize you become so invested with this person and you grew tired not having him physically with you. You always wish he’s with you to share the little moments, your achievements, the new places you’ve been to. The longing grows bigger and bigger, it became harder to handle. And then one day, you notice emotional outbursts during your daily conversations.
It’s not like how it was in the beginning anymore, that a single video clip or a single picture can fix your loneliness. You need your partner to be with you, physically. To be able to hold him when you want to, to kiss him, to hug him… everything that your normal couple would take for granted.
The longer we are in this long distance relationship, the harder it gets. As much as possible, I don’t want to tell him about my loneliness or how I wish he’s here with me because I know he would just worry. But sometimes, keeping it all in becomes too much and you find yourself exploding one day.
I’ve always been understanding about our situation. It’s not easy. Expensive plane tickets, more than 24 hours of traveling, hotel accommodation to book, etc.
Sometimes, I wish I have all the money in the world to fly and see him anytime I want. But sadly, I don’t. I have no choice but to wait for him. I wish I can rush him, but I can’t.
It’s so painful and lonely to not be with the person you want the most.
I remain loyal to this very day, because I love a guy living 8,000 miles away from me. No one can ever match up to him in my heart.
Yes, I’ve been impatient lately. But if you were in my shoes, you would understand. Seeing your person on the screen is not enough anymore.
If you are about to embark in a long distance relationship, prepare for this stage. It won’t be easy, there will be a lot of tears. But if you love each other, I know it will be all worth it. Someone worth having is someone worth waiting for.